The Big O...............
By JADA April 12, 2004

For years many women have thought it was impossible for women to orgasm or to reach that unthinkable place of sensual pleasure. And that man dominated the bedroom when it came to being ultimately satisfied. Until realizing that ultimate satisfaction is when a women has been taken to infinity and beyond. I'm not just saying this because I'm a woman but men, a woman must be satisfied before you say you're done.
Women who have had the pleasure of experiencing an orgasm recall feeling so alive, invigorated and a feeling of total body shock. There are, however, many women have yet to experience an orgasm with their partner or on their own.

Sexual Response Cycle

Like everything sexual joy has to begin somewhere. Orgasms don't just happened they have to be achieved:

Here is a detailed explanation of each phase:

Excitement

… Begins with physical and/or psychological stimulation (from kissing to fantasizing)
… Blood rushes to the genitals and other parts of the body, causing enlarged breasts, swollen labia, expanded clitoris, elevated uterus, and lubricated vagina
… Heart rate and blood pressure increase
… Muscles are tense

Plateau

… Occurs with increased stimulation
… Blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate, and muscle tension continue to rise
… Upper two-thirds of vagina expands
… Uterus elevates to allow easier passage of sperm into fallopian tubes
… Bartholin's glands secrete a small amount of fluid in the vaginal opening

Orgasmic

… Experience powerful contractions of the uterine, vaginal, anal, and lower abdominal muscles (about 5 to 12 synchronized contractions occur one second apart)
… Blood pressure, heart rate, and respiratory rates reach peak
… Loss of voluntary muscle tone

… Resolution

… Blood in genitals begins to drain
… Uterus returns to normal position
… Breasts decrease in size
… Heart rate, breathing rate, and blood pressure decrease

Why do women fake it?

Communication, I can't express it enough it's the key to any problem in any relationship and it's definitely the answer to you experiencing that special feeling called ecstasy.
But why fake it. About 70% of the women I have asked have faked an orgasm. And of course I ask, why not tell boyfriend, husband, or lover that he is just not measuring up. But the answers are all the same:
… They don't want their partner to feel inadequate
… They want to make their partner happy
… They want to encourage their partner to orgasm

Although women fake it in order to please their partner, this little white lie can be more damaging to your relationship than you think.

First and foremost, faking orgasm is most likely to make your partner feel bad about his self and he may even believe that he is less of a man because his woman has to fake it. Talk about crushing a man's ego.

So, men, what do you do when you suspect your woman has been faking orgasm? Simply ask her! (Remember communicate, communicate, communicate!)

Obviously, you must find the right place and time to do it. Blurting out the question in the middle of her "orgasm" is not the most effective method.

Find a time when you are both feeling relaxed and happy with your relationship. Ask her out of sheer curiosity - "Have you ever felt the need to fake an orgasm during sex?"

If her answer is no, use this as an opportunity to openly communicate about your sex life. You can use this as a starting point to discuss what she likes/dislikes in bed, what specific things she would like you to do, and so on.

If her answer is yes, then you will find that having this discussion will also benefit your relationship. If your partner confides in you about her missing orgasms, then this discussion is most likely to cultivate those essential ingredients needed for any healthy relationship ­ communication, honesty, and trust. In having this discussion, your sex life may significantly improve.

As a couple, your focus should be on what to change in order to achieve orgasm, ignoring the problem or "faking it" won't make it disappear.

The G-Spot

So now you have communicated with your partner let's talk about finding her G-Spot.

The G-Spot has always been thought of as a myth some type of urban legend. You really don't know whether to believe that women have that extraordinary spot where once touched she will go into orgasmic bliss.

Ladies and Gentlemen the G-spot is no myth it's there and it's for real.
The g-spot term is actually named after a German doctor who discovered the erogenous zone named Ernst Grafenberg.

The G-Spot is a small mass of tissue that is located 2 inches from the vaginal opening. It is on the anterior of the vaginal wall, and it enlarges during stimulation. Your urethral sponge fills with blood and its glands fill with fluid causing the area to swell and firm up.
Which why once touched feelings of sensational pleasures is experienced.

How can I find my spot?

ŒSome women may not be comfortable with touching their bodies or self pleasuring and may find they have trouble experiencing an orgasm," says Lou Paget Sex Educator and author of the The Big O.
If you are comfortable with exploring yourself here is a tip from staff sexologist
Dr. Sandor Gardos at mypleasure.com. First lie back and get comfortable targeting your g-spot can take some time. Insert your finger into your vagina with your palm facing up. Press into the front vaginal wall directly or make a tickle motion. You should feel a spongy area about one third the way in. Don't be afraid to press firmly. Many women describe their spot as wrinkly or puckered different from the outer tissue.
Other ways of finding your spot is to practice self-pleasuring with a lover taken from the book Ecstatic Sex, A Guide to the Pleasures of Tantra, written by Ma Ananda Sarita and Swami Anand Geho.

… Take the time to lie down one at a time, in front of each other, and enter into
… self- pleasuring. Let your lover see all the nuances of touch and the qualities of build- up you enjoy.
… When you have moved into orgasm hold each other and share that beautiful and intimate space together.
… When you ready, you can exchange roles.
… Afterward, share what you have learned form each other. This will bring a great depth of understanding to your love union.

A river runs through it

For years many couples have mistaken female secretion for urine. "Secretion varies from woman to woman. Some secrete straight across the room while others leave a big wet spot on the bed. From approximately a few drops to a series of gushes," say Em & Lo writers of the Big Bang.
Some women secret right before a G-spot orgasm, some do it independently of orgasm, others do it in sync with their G-climax, and some can do it from external clitoral stimulation alone.
Many women don't secrete at all or do they? One theory speculates that all women produce secretion, but for various reasons don't know it. It can be confused with vaginal lubrication or urine. Some women resist the urge to let go and unknowingly flush it out later when they urine; or maybe they produce so little that it trickles out inconsequentially.

Multiple Orgasms

Every woman has the ability to have more than one orgasm in a very short period of time and many men may not be aware of that. Naturally, men need to rest between orgasms before they can have another one.

Men, a woman's ability to be multi-orgasmic depends on many factors that you and your partner can do

… Her comfort level (with partner and with surroundings)
… Her energy-level (level of stress and fatigue)
… The sexual technique or position being used

Create a comfortable atmosphere, make sure she's stress-free, and ask her which position helps her achieve orgasm best.

Now, in order to help your girlfriend or wife become multi-orgasmic, it is important to be aware of the two types of multiple orgasms that she can experienceŠ

1. Sequential Multiples

… A series of climaxes that come close together (2-10 minutes apart)
… There is an interruption in arousal before the first and second orgasm
… Common scenario for this type is oral sex climax followed by climax in intercourse

2. Serial Multiples

… Orgasms come one after the other (separated by seconds without interruption in arousal)
… Occurs during intercourse when all the right spots are being stimulated (i.e. clitoris,

Variety in the spice of life

There are many different ways for women to orgasm. Experiencing many different forms of sexual intimacy is always great in any loving relationship and it also keeps lovers interested and wanting more. If you are interested in going beyond the norm and breaking down boundaries and personal limitations here are ten ways in which women have experienced orgasms taken from the book The Big O:

1. Clitoral
2. Vaginal and cervical
3. G-spot and AFE (anterior and fornix erotic) zone
4. Urethral( U-spot)
5. Breast/Nipple
6. Mouth
7. Anal
8. Blended/ Fusion
9. Zone
10. Fantasy

To describe each individual orgasm and how they can be achieved is a bit graphic for newspaper reading. You can purchase The Big O at your leisure for in-depth details.

Both you and your partner should feel comfortable about exploring their orgasmic pleasures. Never sacrifice your integrity by doing anything you're not comfortable with doing, for your partner's satisfaction. Sex and achieving and orgasm are an emotional and physical experience and should be enjoyed and appeasing for you and your partner.