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Every week, Cosmo's Agony editor answers your questions on love, sex, work, school, family, friends, and self-image.

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The Big O
By JADA April 12, 2004
For years many women have thought it was impossible for women to orgasm or to reach that unthinkable place of sensual pleasure. And that man dominated the bedroom when it came to being ultimately satisfied. Until realizing that ultimate satisfaction is when a women has been taken to infinity and beyond. I'm not just saying this because I'm a woman but men, a woman must be satisfied before you say you're done.
Women who have had the pleasure of experiencing an orgasm recall feeling so alive, invigorated and a feeling of total body shock. There are, however, many women have yet to experience an orgasm with their partner or on their own.
Read More...

Website with great information about male and female orgasms.

www.femaleorgasmsecrets.com/climaxtidbits.html

When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She wont tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular guy in town. So remember, most guys can fuck, but there are few who do it satisfactorily. But the guy who gives good head, he's got it made. Most women are shy about their bodies, even if you have the most gorgeous woman in bed with you she's going to worry about her body. Tell her anything, tell her its beautiful, which parts you like best, this will let her trust you enough to get between her legs. Now stop look at wut you see, Beautiful isn't it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know, I've seen enough of them to know (but dont get the wrong idea only five). They come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Some are very small and tucked inside, others have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Others are nestedin bushes of hair and others are covered by transparent fuzz. Appreciate your womans unique qualities and tell her what makes her special. Woman tend to deal more verbally than men, especially during lovemaking. They respond to more verbal love, which means the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time your stroking and petting her, talk to her about it.

Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips Lick them if you want Now spread the tops of her pussy up Until you find her clit Women have clits in different sizes Just like us guys have different sized dicks It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for an orgasm. All it means is there is more of her hidden underneath her foreskin. Whenever you touch a womans pussy, make sure your finger is wet You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her Be sure by all means to wet it before you touch her clit Because it doesnt have any juices of its own and its very sensitive. Your finger willstick to it if its dry and from wut i hear it hurts But you dont have to touch the clit anyway You have to work up to that Before she becomes to aroused, her clit is too delicate Approach her pussy slowly Women, even more than men loved to be teased the inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot Lick it, kiss it, make designs with the tip of your tongue Come dangerously close to her pussy, then move away Make her anticipate it

Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy Nuzzle your face in her bush Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it To futher excite her After you've down this to the point where your lady is bucking

Up from her seat and she's striaining to get you closer to her Then put your lips right on top of her slit Kiss her gently, then harder Now use your tongue to seperate her pussy lips And when she opens up, run your tongue up and down And between the layers of her flesh Gently spread her legs more with your hands Remember everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently. Tongue fuck her....this feels divine It also teases the hell out of her She wants all attention given to her clit Check tosee if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of its cover If so, lick it, if you cant see it, it still may be waiting for you So bring your tongue up to the top of her slit and feel the tiny pearl You can make it rise by lickin the skin that covers it Lick hard and press into her skin Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit Do it quickly...this will get her legs shaking.

When you see she's getting up toward the orgasm Make your lips into an O and take her clit into your mouth Start to suck it gently and watch for her reaction If she can handle it...suck harder If she digs......suck harder Go with her...if she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension Go with it...dont fight her Don't let go...most men stop too soon and the female loses the feelin. If a guy knows how to eat good pussy he'll have no problem gettin a girl. There's another thing the man can do to intensify a womans pleasure Finger fuck her while shes enjoying clit-licking talents. Before, during or after...she'll really like it Another sensitive zone on a woman is the roof of her vagina. This is the area you rub against when your fuckin her But since your cock is no where near there Your finger wil have to do the fucking. Take two fingers.....one is too skinny....three is too wide Make sure they're wet so you dont irritate her skin Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a lil faster Fuck her rhythmically Speed up when she does, listen to her breathing If your sucking her clit and fingering her You will be giving her more stimulation then you would with your dick Check her for symptms.....hot body temp, hard niples or trembling When she starts to have an orgasm Dont let go of her clit When she starts to come down from her first orgasm Press your tongue along the underside of her clit Leaving your lips covering the top Move your tongue in and out of her cunt If your fingers are inside, move them too If you are doingit right she may have multiple orgasms A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman has clocked 56 orgasms in one sitting She will be yours 4 ever if you make your girl cum that much. The last advice i give you is after you've made her come, dont leave her Talk to her, stroke and caress her, keep makin love to her quietly until she has come all the way down Oral sex can be the most excitng sexual experiences you can have But its what you make of it Take your time, practice, pay attention to your lover, and enjoy!!!

NOW GET TO IT AND MAKE SOME GIRL VERY HAPPY >

How To Please Your Wife in Bed

Do you know what it takes to please a woman in bed? Her needs may be more complicated than yours -- but once you master the basics, you'll delight her always.

Here's How:
1. Take your time. You may be raring to go, but understand that it physically takes her body longer than yours to become aroused.
2. Don't skip the foreplay. Caress her slowly, beginning perhaps with a non-genital massage. Work up to her erotic areas slowly; she'll indicate when she's ready for things to heat up.
3. Discover her erogenous zones. Some women love to have their nipples stroked or sucked, others don't. Find out where she likes to be touched -- and don't frustrate her by doing something elsewhere that won't please her.
4. Understand that she may be self-conscious about her body. If so, don't criticize her figure or the size of her breasts. In fact, don't call attention to her body at all. Enjoy her body with your eyes and hands, not your words.
5. Introduce her to the pleasures of oral sex. She's likely to find the intensity of the experience most satisfying if you locate her clitoris and stroke it with your tongue in a way that brings her to climax.
6. Know how her body works. Have you found her g-spot? Can she use her Kegel muscles during intercourse? Is she capable of multiple orgasms? All of these are wonderful to find out.
7. Try sex positions that maximize her pleasure. Women-on-top positions generally afford the kind of contact that delivers the best results.
8. Smell great. Not perfumed, just clean and manly.
9. Make birth control a mutual responsibility. Don't leave it up to her -- unless she requests you do so.
10. Mind your manners: Ladies first. Whenever possible, see to it that she orgasms before you do. And if she tells you it's not going to happen that night, accept it. There's always tomorrow... or a little bit later.
Tips:
1. Tell her you love her. When the feeling comes over you, say it out loud. She'll know how much you genuinely mean it.
2. A small token of affection is always appreciated. A flower, a book, a love note all tell her how much you're thinking of her and how precious she is to you.

How To Please Your Husband in Bed

Do you know what it takes to please a man in bed? Their needs are simple -- and once you master the basics, you'll delight your lover always.

Here's How:

Perform oral sex. For the majority of men, nothing is as satisfying as the intensity of pleasure they experience during fellatio.
Take responsibility for your own orgasm. He's happiest in bed when he knows you enjoy sex as much as he does. So learn about your body and know what it takes to turn you on.
Communicate your desire. He won't know what feels good and what you love in bed unless you communicate. So tell -- or better yet -- show him.
Let him see you nude. Men are turned on by the visual, so don't be bashful. Make love with the lights on, and remember that women tend to be far more critical about their bodies than men are.
Discover his erogenous zones. His penis isn't the only part of his body that experiences pleasure. Learn if he likes to have his nipples, scrotum, earlobes, feet, or other parts of his body touched.
Be inventive and experimental. Don't be afraid to try something new in bed -- a new position, tantric sex, mutual masturbation. You may end up adding something great to your regular bedroom repertoire.
Follow his lead. If he kisses you in a special place or touches you a certain way, try doing the same back to him. Also get him to show you how he masturbates -- and learn to do it for him just the way he likes.
Don't forget the sexy lingerie. Even girls who sleep in T-shirts will find wearing something red-hot once in a while is a guaranteed man-pleaser. Especially when combined with a slow striptease.
Share fantasies. Tell him yours, and invite him to share his with you. Take the fantasies to the next level and act them out if you're both comfortable doing that.
Let him know how turned on you are. Talk dirty to heighten his excitement and yours.

Tips:

Don't criticize him in bed. He's at his most vulnerable there, and words that are harsh or cavalier may be long remembered. If you do have a sex problem, address it when you're not in an intimate setting.
Let him know he's the best ever. That's one reason you married him, isn't it?

Men and Women, Sex and Love

Sex and love -- or should it be the other way around?
The first time I wrote the title to this article it was phrased "Love and Sex." But we should all know by now that it takes a long time to develop a relationship into one of true love whereas a willing partner is generally the only prerequisite to having sex.

Unfortunately, the way men and women view sex as well as their corresponding feelings of what constitutes love often causes a great deal of confusion and pain for everyone involved.

Men and Sex (and Love)

If we are to believe the hype, men like sex almost more than they like money. They think about sex all the time. They want as much sex as they can get. They can never get enough sex.

It's okay for men to think about sex all the time. It's a macho thing. It's a man thing. If they didn't act as though they were thinking about sex all the time, they might be looked upon as less than manly, perhaps even gay.

In other words, men have an obligation to think about sex all the time or at least say they are. Many men judge each other by their sexual conquests as well as their financial accomplishments.

A man never stops being measured by his sexual activity. In many "highly cultured" societies, a young female is a measure of an older man's sexual prowess. Who wouldn't be impressed when reading that a 72-year old's 20-year old wife has just given birth? Probably not his older ex-wife.

Is there too much emphasis on a man's need for sex? Probably. But let's consider for a moment Bill Clinton.

Do we dislike the man because he had sex with a woman much younger than his wife? No, that shows his virility.

Do we dislike him because he broke his marriage vows? Well, yes, but if he didn't, how could he possibly have expressed his manliness?

Do we dislike him because he lied about the sex? Possibly, but wasn't he just doing what so many other men do when they meet a woman they choose not to resist?

It would seem Mr. Clinton's biggest mistake was thinking that as the President of the United States he could have the same privileges as other men in the office have had before him. And so he did. Except he got caught.

Men and Love (and Sex)
As much as men like sex, they have a problem with some women who may share the same sexual appetites. It's okay for their non-serious girlfriend or their paid escort to be super charged, but everyone knows those women couldn't possibly be someone's mother, or sister, or wife.

When it comes to love, a man wants his mate to be pure as the driven snow or as close to white as possible. He doesn't want to think of her "doing it" with anyone else.

A man wants to enjoy sex, but he has mixed feelings when his wife has a lusty sexual appetite. Is she loose? What kind of reputation does she have? Are there men he doesn't know (or may know) who think he's a fool for marrying her?

He wants to be her first and her only. But this brings up a rather peculiar predicament. While it's okay for a guy growing up to lay every girl in sight in order to develop into the suave, sophisticated, experienced man he is, what about those same girls when they finally meet a man who is interested in marriage to a "nice girl"?

If all the young women said "no," what would happen to the sexual education of young men?

This quote from a young man seeking advice on my FRIENDS and Lovers website may give voice to what many men secretly feel, albeit they may not be quite so obsessed with female virginity nor so outspoken.

He says "...I am a 23 year old virgin male. It is by choice and not for any other reason (like I can't get any). I just graduated from college and basically didn't date (again, believe it or not, by choice). I am a very focused person and have strong feelings about my education. Besides, I was so busy that I didn't have the time that women need and that I would like to give them...

Weeks after my graduation I met someone. I was the pursuer. She was very friendly and was easy to talk to. So, after knowing her for about one month, I asked her out. We had a great time...and we have ever since. What I'm saying is that my focus has changed. I'm ready now, after my years at college, to get serious. We hit it off like I can't even explain. We are the exact same person...almost.

Like I said before, I'm a virgin. She is not. She is 29 years old and I guess it's not a surprise that she isn't a virgin. We have been together for 7 months and our relationship is absolutely perfect!

I just want to be different, but I can't help thinking of the other guys she has been with. If 'we' work out, will I be compared? Does she have any diseases? Will it be special to her? Am I different than the others? I have asked her those questions and she has given answers that are satisfactory. All of her relationships have been long-term monogamous ones.

To tell you the truth, it eats away at me to think that she was with someone else (more than one). It actually makes me physically ill. I have always wanted to share that most intimate experience with another like myself. To learn together is a dream of mine. In fact, it was virtually at the top of 'the list'. I think about it all the time...

Everything she has done, everything that has happened to her and all her experiences have resulted in exactly who and what she now is. That's the problem! I realize these experiences are what have caused her to appreciate me so much. She has had a sexual past. It may sound insensitive, but to me, if I share my life with someone who has had a sexual past... it's left-overs! After all those jerks use her for that (and most do use women for that), I get the left-overs. I don't want that..."

And, here is a quote from How to Flirt With a Man on the Net:

"1. MEN HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS Many men have a version of the ideal woman they could take home to mom -- and another fantasy woman they'd like to take home to bed. Which role do you want to play? Get clear about this because each game has a different set of rules. Ironically, the game plan for success in one area can be a disaster in the other. To make matters more complicated, men want you to play one role perfectly at night (in private) and another (publicly) by the light of day."

Men and Sex and Love
Men don't confuse sex with love. Women do. Men don't understand that most women consider sex to be a part and parcel of love, even if they have just recently met a man.

While most men feel no obligation of commitment after a few rounds of sex with a new girlfriend, she is probably thinking of names for their future children.

She believed him when he said "I love you."

I'm not sure there will ever come a time when men and women will think about sex and love the same way at the same time although it certainly would make for less complications if it ever could happen.

Take care of yourself.


~ Pat Gaudette